自闭症

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哈哈哈~!!! 又是那么的一天....
Haiz.. kena pull away from bed by mum..
So damn early la.. Sleep back =x
Sianz.. The war between my mum n me..
Like never ending de leh..
Haiz, didn't go badminton again.. TT_TT
Oh man.. i'm missing out a lot of things le..
Damn it lor.. haiz.. Got bit depression mood.
Moody jiu shi la.. Audi half day..
Sleep whole day.. Thinking of everything i can think of.
Stressed up. Pissed off. Pek Chek.
Felt so alone, back into darkness..
No one can help de.. Not even myself.
Still can't find any reasons to love myself.
Emo-ing.. Wanna cry.. Duno why..
I dun wanna go back, i wanna stay here..
i still have lots of things haven done finish yet..

Stressed. Emo-ing.

happening..

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Sia la!!! What's happening???
Other one.. 1st thought is rumor..
Den end up real de.. Haiz..
Should i count this as 桃花运??
This month 3rd person le..
LoL.. I'm not thinking much okay..
I only love my DarDar..
This is just a blog post..

HK application

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Haiz.. Hong Kong IVE de application out le..
i Went to check just now.. Didn't know all courses only have part time.
Sad la.. ii dun wanna go back study leh..
Still got alot of things in Singapore haven done yet..
My wishes, My hopes.. My everything..
I dun wanna throw my love one and go overseas to study..
I confirm cannot make it de.. Plus hongkong de.. only part-time..
I can assure that i cannot study well..
Though my language might be good.
Sad la.. Today really emo.. Stressed about overseas studies..
Besides that.. My dardar also.. Haiz..
He's NS damn fast sia.. next year Feb/Mar jiu go in leh..
Some more after NS, he might go overseas to study..
Only good thing is, he will be back to Sg after his studies..
By then, where will i be??
I dun mind waiting for each others for years..
But.. i scared i miss him too much till i duno become what..
I believe his words and promises..
Believe that long distance relationship can make it de..
The Trust of each other.. Can de..
Meant while, i just wanna spent my everyday with him..
Happily, having the best happy memories in my mind..
No one else can replace him, i only love him.
我爱你!!!! I LoVe YoU!!! Love My DarDar..

Ton

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WaaaFooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
LoL.. just wake up.. haha.. Too tired leh..
Yesterday went Tonning at East coast..
With my DarDar and all his Bros.
We went off from his house to East coast by bicycle..
Woot.. haha.. Total of 8people, 5bicycle..
DarDar.. He tongbang me whole night..
(>,<) 辛苦你了(>,<)
Sitting behind si bei shuang le =Xx
Haha.. Keep enjoying the wind.. Haha..
Went to one of the jetty, =.= forgot the name..
Wanted to go fishing de.. But no prepare.. Next time ba!
Slacking and chatting.. About experience and childhood.
Alot of craps.. Hahass.. Hardcore some more..
Laugh like hell.. Poor DarDar.. Can't save you..
It's really an unforgettable memory of mine.
You brighten my smile everyday..
Not letting me down.. or into emo mood..
Daisuki~ Daisuki desu~!
Cycling around.. Racing, lau gear..
Ton till 5+ le.. slowly cycle back to aljunied Mac..
Ate Breakfast.. LoL.. Duno who lor..
Haha,, i dun wan mention name.. Damn freaking funny la..
Like kid like that.. HE go buy Happy Meal..
Want the Box.. With the Toy too!!!! =xx
We were like laughing till beng lor..
After he ate finish.. Zzz still take out the toy n play..
I was like laughing until speechless, till stomach pain..
After they go off back home, DarDar sent me to bus-stop..
Muack.. So sweet.. xD hahaha..
Sit bus back.. Reach home @ 8am..
*pomb* Fell aslp le.. 6hours of sleep.. haha..

I really wish to have more of this kind of outing.. =)
Specially with my beloved DarDar.. ><

<3 i love my dardar <3

ii love my DarDar.. My one and only DarDar..
I'll never be crying alone anymore,
Having a warm smile on my face everyday.. =)
Never felt lonely and in pain le..
永不和你分离.. 因为我爱你..
你下的迷药太强了.. 快要把我逼疯了..
没有你在的时候.. 我的世界该会变成什么样子?
没有你我活不下去.. 我太爱你了~

Happy Birthday to Me =D

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Finally today has come.. And I'm one year older already..
Time flies pass so fast, i almost couldn't catch my breathe.
Things seems to be more n more complicated den before..
Getting one year closer to get hold of my future..
Hahas. Everytime i thought of my future.. i was so scared.
How will my future be like? successful ? o.0

Today was fun.. In skl n outside skl..
Though it's my birthday but in skl, i somehow still felt emo.
But HE was there for me XD
Whenever i look at him, i smiled from my heart..
It's a warm smile, not the fake smile usually used to cover my face.
Finally speaked up though it was hard to speak.
XD I'm Really Happy Today =)
I start to love my birthday.. Make it a Beautiful memory in my heart.

Now.. I have reasons to stay in world..
To continue my unspeakable path of Life.
*i'll love you, and learn to love myself*

Early Celebration for my bday.

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Today went celebrate my early bday @ Alice88th.
1st meet up with aud, den aaron..
Clothings as usual, punk.
Audaud treat me ice-cream @ swensens.
Wahaha.. So sweet right? LoL..
After that, met up with Neez and went to Alice88th.
Slacking there.. Chatting craps.. Haha..
I didn't aspect them to buy me presents..
Thanks Audaud, Neez and Aaron..
Chat on phone with kelvin. Till they brought and bring back my cake.
They sang me Birthday song, letting me to have 3 wishes..
=) and of coz. i wont tell anyone about it (=
Cut, eat cake.. Watch forbidden kingdom online..
Chatted alot. When we are about to go..
Shiro emo broke down.. somehow affect my mood..
coz this few days, my moods are like hell..

THANKS EVERYONE WHO CELEBRATED WITH~~!!
=)

post on 16.05.08

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Today got badminton training.. Lovin' it..
Getting more confidence, and grab hold of my skills..
Not bad overall la, but i prefer tougher training..
Tough training are good for health.. Haha..
With that, it can definitely train me well =)
Something bad happened when training..
i tio head shot *forehead*.. The speed too fast till i cant avoid it..
Damn painful lor.. Zzz.. haiz, i so careless..

At night went out with jerry..
Haha.. long time didn't see each other le..
It's been like 2 years since i quit my tuition bah..
He's a fun n outgoing person.. [my tuition cher aka counselor]
Went vivo to have our dinner@ superdog, sharing our storys..
Esp my storys [in depression mode].. about what exactly happened..
Most storys are damn freaking emo.
i cant believe that i actually recalled my horrible dream.
Even when i was just sharing about it, my tears almost flow out.
The dream was somehow related to god. Mysterious one.
No one could believe it, unless you are a believer.
Didn't really know that he was saved by god too..
Something actually happened to him,
but i think God gave him another chance of life..
So both of us was saved by God, whether u believe or not..
it's true.. it's something that unexplainable..

Wahaha!! i finally brought the watch that i've been wanting to have it.
2nd jie left me some money to buy the watch for my bday present..
So sweet right? haha.. thanks jie =)

Well, jerry actually bring me to explore around singapore..
Let me understand different places and life..
1st we went to changi village, To see those women that was men once..
Oh man..! i Saw one, quite pretty but sad to say,
her actual gentle was man. Her body shape look damn perfect.
Next, We went to red light restrict [aka gaylang]..
Well we didnt get out of car,
coz he said it's V dangerous for me to be walking outside..
So for the whole journey, we stay in the car..
He just want to show me those sad lifes that people have..
Gosh la.. Those illegal chickens was like standing in a row..
Waiting for customers, it looks more like a parade to me..
Lastly.. Most scary place.. And the time was 11+...
We went to OCH [aka old changi hospital]...
Didn't go in, coz before the car even went up,
i told jerry to u-turn.. Coz i felt so weird and uncomfortable..
When U-turning, i somehow remembered the view outside..
Freakking me out man.. Freakky..

On the way home, went to 7-11 buy alcohol..
Brought 2 Klassik Vodka and 1 Bacadi Breezer..
Slacked @ my house downstairs de swimming pool there..
i did solo one bottle only.. dun feel like drinking too much..
Sharing different thoughts and stories throughout the night..
We were ton-ning tonight.. Haha...
But jerry seems so tired that he fell asleep..

Now 3am.. i'm typing this temporary blog post..
prevent me from forgetting to update blog..
Damn having headache.. not becoz of what i drink..
is coz of the 2 guys.. on the previous post..
Why they like me?? Zzzz i duno la..

Well, now it's 4am, and i'm still awake!!
Jerry was asleep beside me.. Listening to music..
Thinking of you.. but duno who.. Hahas..
Wishing that someone could be by my side at this moment..
LOL!!! Guess what?! JERRY IS SNORING!! haha..
Eh.. i think i was a shooting star fall across the sky..
It's so bright.. Half way through the sky, it's gone..
If it's really a shooting star, that will be my 2nd time seeing it.

Now is 5am.. i'm lying on the ground.. Looking up into the sky.
Looking at those beautiful stars above me..
They are like winking and smiling at me..
i counted them, there are more den 60 stars accompanying me..
So happy.. Haha..

Well.. it's now 6am in the morning..
i can't believe that i've been Sitting, standing & walking around.
Ton-ning alone where everyone was still in their beautiful dreams.
I've been thinking soo much.. and gone abit emo..
BUT i won't hurt myself so easily.. Coz..
my actions might hurt someone who cared about me..
Gosh.. i felt abit of earthquake just now..
i'm not joking, i saw my bottle with water moving..
i duno.. hahas. Better watch the news..

Finally it's 6.30am.. Time to go.. back to sleep..
Jerry went off.. He thanked me for spending whole night awake.
Hah!! went home sleep.. till today, 17.05.08..
i woke up @ 4.30pm. Meet LL, ShiQian.. for dinner..
walking around at orchard.. Met up with elain n yiqi..
blah blah.. that's my day..

why me????

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HOLY DAY!!! GOSH!!!
WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THIS WORLD???
SHOULD TODAY KNOWN AS...
HAPPY DAY?? OR HEADACHE DAY??
WHY?? WHY WHY WHY WHY??
Not that i not happy.. is coz of..
Gosh!!! Today very happening..
1st time in my life.. 2 guys confess to me..
i know this kinda stuff should be personal la..
but just wanna say out..
[readers please dun mind what a say, just opinion]
0ne of them is i like de.. another is i like before de..
kinda weird is tgt same day..
LoL.. duno la.. accept one.. den now next?!?!
HOW SIA!!! 1st time like that le..
wo mei you xin li zhu bei leh!!!!
really shocking lor.. but i know what to do la..
=) trust me myself n i (=

=)

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My feeling =)
私がいなくてとても寂しい、お祈りに時間が停止するその瞬間に永遠に..
私たちが一緒に,と感じたの幸せとセキュリティで保護さ..
私はあなたなしでは生活できないあなた.
あなたを愛してまで私息をすることはできません.
愛しています!!!!! 私は私たちが一緒に希望!!!

comp's fault.. LoL

Haiz.. Few days didnt update due to something shitty cok up.
I can't tranfer my pics to the comp!!!
LoL.. Fadhli!! u was right.. i really becoming panda le.
Slept late nowadays, sleep only 5-6 hours per day.
No wonder you can see me falling asleep in class..
Especially ytd, i sleep throughout han kk's class...
i only listen to his 1st 15-20 minutes..
The rest all gone into my dreams..
Finally today come.. Hope mr chan today got come..
It's the day of 2.4km run... Woooottttt!!!
So xin fen, not becoz i like running,
it's a kinda way to release stress..
Haha.. Just reach skl not long.. Class still empty empty de..
i guess most of them will be late ba.. now 8.35 leh...
still say me panda.. i can wake one lor.. hahaha..
just now in bus sleep till shuang shuang..
Almost forgot alight bus =xx
Sianzz.. class only 9 pple.. what the hell???

Hope chin kiat gett well sooon ba..
Poor thing didnt take care ownself..
=x

LiFe of Wandering Ghost

Today's lesson all canceled..
When to the blood donation there to slack..
Play with that 'blood' thingy..
Damn bored, wandering in skl like ghost like that.
Worst den those hungry ghost..
Zzzz.. Having a fever..
Went home and slept for 4hrs straight.
Till now still abit sleepy.. Nights..

Mood Down Fever Up

Well, i was right.. i'm really sick and tired this days..
Felt freezing cold even under the sun,
Fell a sleep in class almost every lesson..
What's going on? .sonearyetsofar.
i'm i using my mind to think too much? i've no idea.
Staring at someone's back all the time.
Haha.. i'm really gonna be crazy one day..
dun really know what i wan also..
Haiz... after skl went bugis AgAiN.. walk walk chat chat..
Duno how to continue liao la.. Sleepy.
Alot of unhappy things wanna say but duno how phrase it.

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yamin trying to act cute.

God damn, skl is getting more and more boring.
i slept in class almost all the lessons today lor.
i have no idea why am i so freaking tired.
Maybe i was sick? Mmm what else..?
yawning every mins and seconds. haiz.
what the hell is happening to me?
LoL.. Today duno which idiot push kelvin into my class,
den i kena scold by teacher for nothing lor..
Zzz.. sian.. End here.. nights~

好想你

I miss you =)

hair cut.

Nothing much to write about today..
Afternoon, meet up with ting tgt for hair cut..
Just to cut shorten my hair.. Haiz..
It's bored to look @ the same old hair style everyday..
Seriously, even i cut, no know realise it.. it's only shorter..
Lalalalalalalassss, i'm bored bored bored.....

Birthday wishlist

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Damn it!!! I got so many things i wish to buy/ have it..
Well Wells... Here's my Wish List..

1. Punk Top [Alice 88th - $99 before discount]
2. Bag [for skl n outside]
3. Black Wallet [simple design & flat one]
4. Watch [Jen: the one i showed you in Vivo]
5. Tattoo [i'm so gonna put one soon]
6. Punk Photo Shooting [kelvin!!! i WANT]
7. ALL Lolita23q 's album [duno where to find]
8. Everthing can go on smoothly..
9. Spent my everyday happily. Especially Days left in SG.
10. Hope to stay in Singapore.

CCa + Bugis

Today Went for my 1st Badminton training,
it was really fun, enjoy it very much =)
From start till the end, i train and sweat like hell..
Hope to train myself to be a pro.. Haha..
After Badminton, Mya and me went bugis walk walk.
Had Pepper Lunch!!! Woot~ it really taste awesome..
In the evening, We went to Alice88th...
I brought my discounted top, but..
I WANT THAT DISPLAY TOP!!!!!
Damn it, 1st i walked into the shop n saw..
And I'm IN LOVE WITH IT...
I WANT I WANT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mya Mya brought the cute rabbit..
We start to make fun of it, dressing it up using doofie clothes.
And start photo shooting it.. haha, so cute lor..
For dinner, we called Mac delivery..
Haha.. having great time with each other.. =)
Alice!!! I LOVE YOU~!!! ^^v

Labour Day with Jen. punky

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*~Random pics~*























.retarded. haha.